If you've known me for more than 25 seconds; it’s
no mystery that my friendships/relationships are paramount to me. It's my
belief that they mirror you. We learn from an early age that we are the company
that we keep. So when one of those relationships comes apart, I often take a
deep look inward. What's my take away? Where did it all go wrong?
At the start of 2014, I decided that this would be
my year. I wanted more out of everything that comprises "me"; my
relationships; my job, and my education. I also decided that if something (someone)
didn’t fit, or was getting in the way of me being the best version of myself,
it would have to go. Let me tell ya, if you give fate a grocery list, it will
take you to task.
The Social Exchange Theory states that there is an equation for every type of relationship. Cost-Reward=Outcome. There are costs in every relationship, whether it’s time, money or effort. These costs cannot outweigh the rewards we seek from relationships. That’s generally when a relationship becomes one sided. Recently one of my friendships came apart. This wasn’t something that happens overnight, it rarely ever does. While the logical side of my brain knows that I'm better off without a friendship that takes more than it gives.
Something
that has comforted me throughout this whole process is the idea that not all friendship
are designed to be lifelong. Sometimes the pills that will help heal us are the
hardest to swallow. So my advice to you,
you who are reeling from one sided friendships. Take an inventory or your
relationships. If they aren’t benefiting you, teaching you, or leaving you with
a positive balance within the equation, it may be time to remove them from your
life. You’ll be better for it.
